Whats the rush? It seems in this life, in the world we live in, things need to been done swiftly, we need to be here or there and we are always rushing around in such a hurry. What a waste of a life don't you think?
The oldest teenager and I were driving into town the other night, and I changed the radio station to listen to Christmas music, which I wait all year for. He groans in protest and it begins a conversation about our difference in the holiday spirit.
It seems that my oldest has developed a dislike for the Christmas holiday...say whaaaaaat? How can any child that I have birthed from my womb, have a dislike of Christmas??
From October 31st until January 2nd, that is my favorite time of the year. I feel that people are a bit nicer, more giving, and more considerate of others. There is a crisp feel to the air, like wearing a coat but you have a little redness on your nose. I love the Christmas music and the decorations, the sound of the bell ringers in front of stores and the friendly nod that you get from random strangers as you walk by them.
The teenager asks me if I feel how rushed it gets around the holidays? I thought about it for a moment and told him that I felt just the opposite. I feel like time moves slower during the holiday months, and perhaps that is why I enjoy them so much. I felt a sadness come over me as I looked at my teenager staring into his phone screen and thought to myself.....when did he feel like it was time to grow up so quickly, when did he lose that wonderment that comes along with Santa and Christmas, when did he lose that innocence?
It is all happening to quickly, wasn't he just in diapers, or showing me that he could ride his bike without training wheels, or what about when he would just crawl up into my lap and cuddle with me until he fell asleep?
Today my teenager wakes up and immediately gets on that damn phone, and goes to school for the entire day, only to come home, do his chores and get back on his phone. Even without the phone, I just miss the time with him. His mother, grandmother and aunts are no longer the most important women in his life, we have been replaced by his girlfriend. His dad, grandfathers and uncles are no longer the most important men in his life, they have been replaced by his friends.
Hot wheel cars are now packed away and he is riding around in real cars driven by his older friends. Time keeps moving forward and I feel like I am stuck in a vortex just watching it all happen (since I am in a vortex perhaps that means I will cease to age...crossing fingers).
Have you ever been to Mexico? Folks down there don't really have a concept of "time". When someone says they will come by, expect them sometime between breakfast and dinner. They are very rarely in a hurry, rather, they go about their daily lives and get done what they can, and they'll just pick up tomorrow where they left off today.
Why are we in such a hurry in this life? As children we can't wait to grow up and for what? So we can wake up and rush to get ready for work, stare at a clock all day so that we can rush home to hurry and get dinner done, bathe the kiddos and get them in bed, and then we enjoy the remainder of our evening trying to keep our eyes open while our partner is trying to tell us about how rushed their day was. We rush and rush our entire lives, and the next thing you know, your life is over. If I only have one life, I don't want to waste it rushing, I would rather take my time, and enjoy each minute of the time I have with my kids, my husband, my friends and family.
I know that we can't slow time down, I am a realist, but I feel like I have been so rushed in my life that I forgot to slow down enough to really watch my kids grow up. I only have two more years before my oldest is out of high school and out doing what he chooses, and two years behind him is Bubby.
I used to think parents who kept their kids home from preschools were insane, how could they not take advantage of some adult time without a kiddo constantly pulling at you? I get it now, I finally understand!! Kameo is the last baby that I will ever have, the last time I will ever feel those tiny kicks inside my belly,the last time I will ever experience the pains of labor, and the last one to breastfeed, or to snuggle up in my arms and sleep for hours. My sweet girl will be last diapers I ever have in my home or the pitter-patter of her little feet running down my hallways. I cannot stop her from growing up, I have tried believe me, but despite my attempts to keep her little, she is still growing into such a beautiful little lady. Kameo has lost two teeth now and it's now time for the tooth fairy to visit her while she sleeps, only now, the oldest teenager sneaks in to replace her bagged tooth with money. My little girl no longer needs help getting herself dressed, hair or teeth brushed, and she is learning how to tie her own shoes. I may not be able to slow down her growing up but I can keep her home with me another year so that I can cherish this time I have with her. The time I keep her home is more time I GET WITH HER, rather than a teacher getting with her.
Our time with our children is so precious, and I really didn't understand the reality of this, until my son started replacing family time with girlfriend time, dad time with friend time, and mom time with a phone, or until I realized that my son no longer finds the Christmas time magical.
I will never lose that magic that comes along with Christmas, and I still so badly want to believe that there is really a Santa and reindeer. I love the cards that are sent, and the pictures of families in front of their beautiful trees, I love the smell of a pine tree in the living room and the idea of a white Christmas....I said idea, I don't actually find snow cover appealing when we have to travel for Christmas.
(Ok...here is my issue with that nasty white stuff......I love snow when it is falling,and when everything is covered with White..BUT...as soon as it gets dirty or you can see grass sticking up through it because people have walked through it, my brain goes NUTS and I want it gone. I can't handle dirty snow..eeeekkkkk........ I also do not think it is fun to walk in, drive in, or even really play in. I don't want to intentionally go play in something that is going to make me colder than I already am. I remember as a child getting my snow gear on and playing in it, making snowmen and whatnot, but as I have gotten older, I just don't like it...I could never live in Alaska. If I were an animal I would probably be a bear and just sleep though the whole snow season.)
I was an evil parent this weekend and I made the oldest stay home the ENTIRE weekend. He has been going non-stop for about a month now and I have decided that one weekend a month, my family will go nowhere and do nothing other than home or family stuff. Today, we spent the day doing NOTHING, and it was WONDERFUL. I didn't even get out of my pj's today. Casey and I worked on Christmas gifts, and the kids played games and watched some movies. It was the best weekend. I think that even if everyone does their own thing, while all in the same house, it is still a day to cherish as a family. Our internet was out due to weather for most of the day so we spent some quiet time, and the watched movies, and then cooked dinner, and now we are all headed to bed, but you know what, I feel that we are all refreshed and renewed and ready for what the week ahead holds for us.
I hope you all enjoyed your weekend, had fun in the snow, and are all cuddled up warm and loved this evening!!
I think my pillow is seductively whispering my name.....I should probably respond, I have dreams I need to get to.
Goodnight all you beautiful people,
Peace and Blessings,
A.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Battle of the Throne
I have been with my husband for a while now, and any of you who have known him any amount of time know just the kind of morning person he is......HE ISN'T!!!! He has a hatred towards the morning hours unlike anything I have witnessed. I am a morning person for the most part. I am a morning and night person, afternoons I could do without, or nap through, either way. I appreciate the morning feel, the sun warming up the earth, the peace and tranquility ( that other people must get to experience), he doesn't share the same fondness as I do.
Mornings in the Shepherd household are chaotic to say the least. Since I have been with my wonderful man for so long, I know how mornings work for him. He is a routine man, including his morning rituals of the three S's in the mornings, $*&^, shower, and shave, and god help anyone who disrupts his mojo that early. Most mornings I try and stay in my bed and out of the storm as often as possible. I usually wait until I hear the sound of the Pathfinder's broken muffler grow quieter and quieter as the King of the throne makes his way to work before I make my way to the bathroom. By the time The Husband leaves for work, my kidney's are screaming at me that I have waited entirely too long to relieve myself. Why do I wait this long, why do I put my body through such agonizing torment you ask? Well, The Husband is a tyrant of a king when anyone disrupts his time on the throne. I choose my battles and I choose most mornings to lay in my bed, checking my Facebook, waiting for everyone to leave so that I can start to enjoy my daily meditating once the house is quiet. Here is why I lay in wait....Because when I intervene it ends up like this.....
Mornings conversations (sometimes screaming matches) consist of this....
The Husband :" Why is there always someone in the bathroom?"
Me:" (in my quiet and calm waking voice).... Because there are six of us and only one bathroom."
The Husband:" Well I need the bathroom and I am always having to fight for it."
Me:" (in my irritated, learn to share voice)..Sorry to inform you of this but, you don't own the toilet."
The Husband:" I am the one that works and pays the house payment, so I do own the toilet."
Me:"(in my, I am awake now, queen mentality "off with his head")....Well then you start cleaning it!"
The Husband: " I work so I don't have to clean it!"
Me:"( yelling authoritatively to make sure my point is heard and that I have the final word)....Well I am a pretty sure I am NOT ONE OF THE ONES THAT MISSES WHEN I PEE!!!"
Yeah, it escalates -pretty quickly!!
(That usually quiets things down....he can't argue with The Queens logic when it comes to her using the throne now can he?)
This is a typical Shepherd morning, fighting over toilet time.......We need another bathroom, and when I move into another house someday there WILL be 2 bathrooms...I will not settle for less!
A couple of months back we discovered a leak in our bathroom. To remedy this problem we had to temporarily shut off the water and we had to replace the old toilet. We have the old toilet sitting out in the back yard until we can haul it off. The boys of course have already established a designated "pee" spot seeing as how we have lived here for so long. Now us girls, we usually wait it out...or at least I do. The Husband is fixing the toilet and working his hiney off when Kameo tells him she has to go potty. He tries to tell her that it will only be a little bit longer and then she can go
A few minutes later she comes back to the bathroom door and checks on dad to see how his work is coming along. I tell her that she can go potty now if she wants, she informs me that she doesn't have to go anymore, she already went..."Where did you go potty at?".........She looks at me like I am dimwitted ....( in a duh mom tone) "I went potty on the toilet".....Oh my word.....kids are funny crazy sometimes.
Why is it that children pick that moment when you finally get a chance to break away and use the potty to ask you this or tattle about that? Why couldn't they have done this 2 freaking minutes ago when I was out in their area instead of as soon as I get the bathroom door closed....and turn that little lock...it's like they have bionic hearing for that little lock to engage...and then they ATTACK...BAM, all of a sudden I have 4 children asking, screaming, crying, wanting and tattling before I even get the chance to drop my drawers,,,UGH,,,,seriously?
Perfect example....I am waiting for my turn on the throne, finally get in there after three others before me have shared their stench, making it hazardous enough that I felt I truly needed a gas mask for my own safety. I no sooner sit down (already irritated about having to sit on a warm toilet seat, when Bubby chooses that exact moment to ask me if I would give him back his Ipod. ARE. YOU. FREAKING.KIDDING.ME???!!!!!
Me: " Bubby, can you please leave me alone for a few minutes?"
Bubby:" Yeah, but can I have my IPod back yet?"
Me:: Bubby, we will talk about this when I get out, give me a few minutes alone!"
Bubby:" I will, but can I please have my IPod back?"
Me: (growing irritated) ....Bubby, I am IN THE BATHROOM, will you GO AWAY and let me take care of business?"
Bubby:" Sorry mom.....(he is still standing RIGHT OUTSIDE the door).............Still standing there....
Me:" GET...AWAY....FROM...THE...BATHROOM!!!!!!
Bubby:" I just want to know if I can have my IPod back?"
Me:" NO!!!!.....( I am done with my business, now I am just in there waiting to see if this kid is going to leave.....he doesn't)
I open the door to Bubby just standing there.....WTF......"Bub, if you do this to me again, I am going to take away more than your Ipod, I deserve to take a freaking crap ALONE!!!, Do you understand??
Bubby:" Since you are out now, can I have my IPod back so I can do my chores?
I just walked away and went into my room and locked myself in there for about an hour. You mothers with the little hands under the doors are so cute!! Just wait, I'm telling you, little hands with little fingers are cute and whatnot, but once they are teenagers and they just stand there bugging you....lost all cuteness there!
Lets not forget about evening shower time, the time when I have two teenagers who battle for who's turn it is to take a shower that evening. We have a rule in the Shepherd house, since there is only ONE bathroom, you must take the time to ask everyone else in the house if they need to use the bathroom before they get in. It never fails...Hunter will ask everyone, no one needs it, as soon as he gets in , Bubby will start knocking on the door telling him to hurry so that he can use the bathroom.....UGH....That leads to a screaming match between two teenage boys. Then when Bubby takes his, Kameo will decide that is a great time for her to have to use the potty (even though she went right before he got in...That leads to a screaming match between a 5 year old girl (which naturally means high pitch screaming) and a teenager who acts like a 5 year old himself......I'm really glad ownership over our throne doesn't involve sword fighting....Kameo would most definitely come out the champion!
The struggle is real!
OK, enough about crappers.............
I wanted to post last night but I was so tired and blah feeling...I can't get lenient on the posting though so if you don't see one in a while, bug me about it....sometimes I just need a little motivation or something to discuss....see, tonight is a great example, I just wrote an entire blog about bathroom use ( I may be hard up for things to talk about already and its only been a couple of days...geeze)....why do you think that is, that conversations often turn to bodily functions?
Well, I think it is time for me to head to bed!
Peace and Blessings to you all,
A.
Mornings in the Shepherd household are chaotic to say the least. Since I have been with my wonderful man for so long, I know how mornings work for him. He is a routine man, including his morning rituals of the three S's in the mornings, $*&^, shower, and shave, and god help anyone who disrupts his mojo that early. Most mornings I try and stay in my bed and out of the storm as often as possible. I usually wait until I hear the sound of the Pathfinder's broken muffler grow quieter and quieter as the King of the throne makes his way to work before I make my way to the bathroom. By the time The Husband leaves for work, my kidney's are screaming at me that I have waited entirely too long to relieve myself. Why do I wait this long, why do I put my body through such agonizing torment you ask? Well, The Husband is a tyrant of a king when anyone disrupts his time on the throne. I choose my battles and I choose most mornings to lay in my bed, checking my Facebook, waiting for everyone to leave so that I can start to enjoy my daily meditating once the house is quiet. Here is why I lay in wait....Because when I intervene it ends up like this.....
Mornings conversations (sometimes screaming matches) consist of this....
The Husband :" Why is there always someone in the bathroom?"
Me:" (in my quiet and calm waking voice).... Because there are six of us and only one bathroom."
The Husband:" Well I need the bathroom and I am always having to fight for it."
Me:" (in my irritated, learn to share voice)..Sorry to inform you of this but, you don't own the toilet."
The Husband:" I am the one that works and pays the house payment, so I do own the toilet."
Me:"(in my, I am awake now, queen mentality "off with his head")....Well then you start cleaning it!"
The Husband: " I work so I don't have to clean it!"
Me:"( yelling authoritatively to make sure my point is heard and that I have the final word)....Well I am a pretty sure I am NOT ONE OF THE ONES THAT MISSES WHEN I PEE!!!"
Yeah, it escalates -pretty quickly!!
(That usually quiets things down....he can't argue with The Queens logic when it comes to her using the throne now can he?)
This is a typical Shepherd morning, fighting over toilet time.......We need another bathroom, and when I move into another house someday there WILL be 2 bathrooms...I will not settle for less!
A couple of months back we discovered a leak in our bathroom. To remedy this problem we had to temporarily shut off the water and we had to replace the old toilet. We have the old toilet sitting out in the back yard until we can haul it off. The boys of course have already established a designated "pee" spot seeing as how we have lived here for so long. Now us girls, we usually wait it out...or at least I do. The Husband is fixing the toilet and working his hiney off when Kameo tells him she has to go potty. He tries to tell her that it will only be a little bit longer and then she can go
A few minutes later she comes back to the bathroom door and checks on dad to see how his work is coming along. I tell her that she can go potty now if she wants, she informs me that she doesn't have to go anymore, she already went..."Where did you go potty at?".........She looks at me like I am dimwitted ....( in a duh mom tone) "I went potty on the toilet".....Oh my word.....kids are funny crazy sometimes.
Why is it that children pick that moment when you finally get a chance to break away and use the potty to ask you this or tattle about that? Why couldn't they have done this 2 freaking minutes ago when I was out in their area instead of as soon as I get the bathroom door closed....and turn that little lock...it's like they have bionic hearing for that little lock to engage...and then they ATTACK...BAM, all of a sudden I have 4 children asking, screaming, crying, wanting and tattling before I even get the chance to drop my drawers,,,UGH,,,,seriously?
Perfect example....I am waiting for my turn on the throne, finally get in there after three others before me have shared their stench, making it hazardous enough that I felt I truly needed a gas mask for my own safety. I no sooner sit down (already irritated about having to sit on a warm toilet seat, when Bubby chooses that exact moment to ask me if I would give him back his Ipod. ARE. YOU. FREAKING.KIDDING.ME???!!!!!
Me: " Bubby, can you please leave me alone for a few minutes?"
Bubby:" Yeah, but can I have my IPod back yet?"
Me:: Bubby, we will talk about this when I get out, give me a few minutes alone!"
Bubby:" I will, but can I please have my IPod back?"
Me: (growing irritated) ....Bubby, I am IN THE BATHROOM, will you GO AWAY and let me take care of business?"
Bubby:" Sorry mom.....(he is still standing RIGHT OUTSIDE the door).............Still standing there....
Me:" GET...AWAY....FROM...THE...BATHROOM!!!!!!
Bubby:" I just want to know if I can have my IPod back?"
Me:" NO!!!!.....( I am done with my business, now I am just in there waiting to see if this kid is going to leave.....he doesn't)
I open the door to Bubby just standing there.....WTF......"Bub, if you do this to me again, I am going to take away more than your Ipod, I deserve to take a freaking crap ALONE!!!, Do you understand??
Bubby:" Since you are out now, can I have my IPod back so I can do my chores?
I just walked away and went into my room and locked myself in there for about an hour. You mothers with the little hands under the doors are so cute!! Just wait, I'm telling you, little hands with little fingers are cute and whatnot, but once they are teenagers and they just stand there bugging you....lost all cuteness there!
Lets not forget about evening shower time, the time when I have two teenagers who battle for who's turn it is to take a shower that evening. We have a rule in the Shepherd house, since there is only ONE bathroom, you must take the time to ask everyone else in the house if they need to use the bathroom before they get in. It never fails...Hunter will ask everyone, no one needs it, as soon as he gets in , Bubby will start knocking on the door telling him to hurry so that he can use the bathroom.....UGH....That leads to a screaming match between two teenage boys. Then when Bubby takes his, Kameo will decide that is a great time for her to have to use the potty (even though she went right before he got in...That leads to a screaming match between a 5 year old girl (which naturally means high pitch screaming) and a teenager who acts like a 5 year old himself......I'm really glad ownership over our throne doesn't involve sword fighting....Kameo would most definitely come out the champion!
The struggle is real!
OK, enough about crappers.............
I wanted to post last night but I was so tired and blah feeling...I can't get lenient on the posting though so if you don't see one in a while, bug me about it....sometimes I just need a little motivation or something to discuss....see, tonight is a great example, I just wrote an entire blog about bathroom use ( I may be hard up for things to talk about already and its only been a couple of days...geeze)....why do you think that is, that conversations often turn to bodily functions?
Well, I think it is time for me to head to bed!
Peace and Blessings to you all,
A.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Finally...Let the Blogging Begin
Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the hiney this blog has been.....NO, I don't think you have. First, I thought I could just create a second blog ( it would be spin-off of Womb Warriors) with my email address...fail, then I created one with the title that I was considering but it just didn't feel right, so it sat there, page open, staring at me...fail! Next I proceeded with an email address I created for the book, but it didn't want to let me continue without some kind of verification that was sent through an email...which never came...fail!!!
I waited and waited for a title for this blog to come to me, one that would jump out and slap me in the soul....like I said, I waited and waited....and waited. Finally the other day I was sitting in the parking lot and it came to me, Copacetic (one of my favorite words meaning "completely satisfactory") Karma (another favorite meaning "an action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad"), so there you have it, at this time of my life I am bringing upon myself "completely satisfactory results", I contribute this to the fact that I am learning to let go, to loosen the reigns of control and to try and enjoy the moment I am presently in...even if that is (at this very moment) one 13 year old calling a 5 year old names because she accidentally hit him with her toy as she is running around the house with our dog LulaBelle like a wild banshee howling like a werewolf while my 15 year old is begging (loudly) for everyone to please be quiet so he can watch TV and my 10 year old just brought me a slip of missing assignments that belongs to Bubby that someone wrote "one cock" on (because Ukie thinks his life's mission is to tattle on everyone).....so there I am, learning to loosen the reigns...allowing things to sort themselves out, or better yet, for it it get so loud and chaotic that The Husband can't take it any longer and he comes in and lays the law down, yelling at this one to act his age, that one to calm down and stop running around, for the older teen to chill out and telling Ukie that no one likes a snitch. I think I like handing the reigns over every once in a while.
I have had dreams of blogs since the 19th of November, and thought about writing them down, but....well...I didn't, so of course that means that they are long gone and lost forever in the abyss that I call my brain. I remember the date though because I had asked Facebook friends what they thought about dating anniversaries....so to wrap up my first blog, I will give you a glance at what I remember about what was supposed to be my first official blog.....
What is So Important About Anniversaries ?
I guess to some a simple date on a calendar might not mean too much, as long as you remember the big ones right?
For some of us though anniversaries are HUGE and they are cause for big celebration. Casey and I got married July 1st, 2006 and so he feels that is the only anniversary that we need to celebrate, but for me, I appreciate the time we dated before our wedding, time we had to learn about one another, the good and the bad. We had fun in each others company and I feel like by not acknowledging that time, we are robbing ourselves. When you have lived a life like I have, small things like your 30th birthday are exciting and tearful because 30 was an age I never thought I would live to see.
The 19th of November is a HUGE anniversary in my life, it celebrates the release of a relationship that was toxic and deadly, and it celebrates a life I found with a gentle, kind and loving man, a man I knew would never lay a mean hand on me. This day represents a struggle coming to an end after I had worked so hard to create a safe home for my babies to come live in and a team effort to take my babies back. Besides it being Bubby's birthday it is also a day where I was able wake up on my own without the assistance of meth.
I remember dates, like December 22nd, the day that John took my babies from me. I remember that day like it was yesterday, it was such a sad day. That day is also the day that Casey and I had to take his dog Kitty in to be put down, and we finished the day off by hiking up Wolf Creek Falls. I doubt Casey would remember that date, but I do, it was the worst day of my life. It is also important for me to remember that day because it changed my life, that day, December 22nd, 2003 was the day I hit my rock bottom, the day that I forgot how to breathe, the day the universe set me onto my destined path for the better, even though I couldn't see that at the time.
For an addict, for a mother who has felt loss, for a victim of domestic abuse, a simple date that one might not find "important" enough to remember or celebrate, could be everything to them.
So there you have it...I blogged!!! I found a title I like, I created a new email, I created a blog!!
I can't promise you that the blogs will get better or be of any relevance, but I have thoughts that roll around my head and they need an escape.
( I am also open to discussion topics, ideas, suggestions)
Till next time!!!
A.
Peace and Blessings
I waited and waited for a title for this blog to come to me, one that would jump out and slap me in the soul....like I said, I waited and waited....and waited. Finally the other day I was sitting in the parking lot and it came to me, Copacetic (one of my favorite words meaning "completely satisfactory") Karma (another favorite meaning "an action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad"), so there you have it, at this time of my life I am bringing upon myself "completely satisfactory results", I contribute this to the fact that I am learning to let go, to loosen the reigns of control and to try and enjoy the moment I am presently in...even if that is (at this very moment) one 13 year old calling a 5 year old names because she accidentally hit him with her toy as she is running around the house with our dog LulaBelle like a wild banshee howling like a werewolf while my 15 year old is begging (loudly) for everyone to please be quiet so he can watch TV and my 10 year old just brought me a slip of missing assignments that belongs to Bubby that someone wrote "one cock" on (because Ukie thinks his life's mission is to tattle on everyone).....so there I am, learning to loosen the reigns...allowing things to sort themselves out, or better yet, for it it get so loud and chaotic that The Husband can't take it any longer and he comes in and lays the law down, yelling at this one to act his age, that one to calm down and stop running around, for the older teen to chill out and telling Ukie that no one likes a snitch. I think I like handing the reigns over every once in a while.
I have had dreams of blogs since the 19th of November, and thought about writing them down, but....well...I didn't, so of course that means that they are long gone and lost forever in the abyss that I call my brain. I remember the date though because I had asked Facebook friends what they thought about dating anniversaries....so to wrap up my first blog, I will give you a glance at what I remember about what was supposed to be my first official blog.....
What is So Important About Anniversaries ?
I guess to some a simple date on a calendar might not mean too much, as long as you remember the big ones right?
For some of us though anniversaries are HUGE and they are cause for big celebration. Casey and I got married July 1st, 2006 and so he feels that is the only anniversary that we need to celebrate, but for me, I appreciate the time we dated before our wedding, time we had to learn about one another, the good and the bad. We had fun in each others company and I feel like by not acknowledging that time, we are robbing ourselves. When you have lived a life like I have, small things like your 30th birthday are exciting and tearful because 30 was an age I never thought I would live to see.
The 19th of November is a HUGE anniversary in my life, it celebrates the release of a relationship that was toxic and deadly, and it celebrates a life I found with a gentle, kind and loving man, a man I knew would never lay a mean hand on me. This day represents a struggle coming to an end after I had worked so hard to create a safe home for my babies to come live in and a team effort to take my babies back. Besides it being Bubby's birthday it is also a day where I was able wake up on my own without the assistance of meth.
I remember dates, like December 22nd, the day that John took my babies from me. I remember that day like it was yesterday, it was such a sad day. That day is also the day that Casey and I had to take his dog Kitty in to be put down, and we finished the day off by hiking up Wolf Creek Falls. I doubt Casey would remember that date, but I do, it was the worst day of my life. It is also important for me to remember that day because it changed my life, that day, December 22nd, 2003 was the day I hit my rock bottom, the day that I forgot how to breathe, the day the universe set me onto my destined path for the better, even though I couldn't see that at the time.
For an addict, for a mother who has felt loss, for a victim of domestic abuse, a simple date that one might not find "important" enough to remember or celebrate, could be everything to them.
So there you have it...I blogged!!! I found a title I like, I created a new email, I created a blog!!
I can't promise you that the blogs will get better or be of any relevance, but I have thoughts that roll around my head and they need an escape.
( I am also open to discussion topics, ideas, suggestions)
Till next time!!!
A.
Peace and Blessings
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)