Why is being a stay at home mom so bothersome to some?
Casey and I discussed in length when we got married about me being a stay at home mom and that when I was ready and the kids were in school full time I would go out and work. Well guess what...we had Kameo and plans shifted!!
That beautiful girl is my last baby and we have another year before she goes into school and I lose that precious time with her.Soon her days of cuddling with mom will be replaced with a teacher asking her to keep her hands to herself. While her and I have our morning routine of waking up, feeding the animals, and drinking our coffee (hers is apple juice) together, she will walking in a line with other classmates to get her morning breakfast (full of nasty sugars) and preparing to learn what her teacher has prepared for the day. I will lose beautiful hours with her.
The average kid in America attends 180 days of school a year for around 6.57 hours a day. If you do the math, that is around 2,340 days of school from kindergarten to graduation and that is right around 15,373.8 hours that teachers have with our children that we don't. Damn right I am going to stay home with baby as long as I am able to.
Right now, I am a stay at home mom. My days are filled with appointments for all types of things, paying bills with my HUSBANDS money AND the money I was getting as a stipend from school. I am the primary parent, I am in charge of homework, chores, getting this kid there, that kid to that sports practice, this one to the Ortho, that one to a specialist, and the list goes on and on. I am also the the one that is the referee, the bouncer, the comforter and the one kids come to for advice. I have earned the title mom because I do it day in and day out and with no sick pay and very little vacation. I have no guilt for choosing to stay at home and not work during this time of my life. I worked for most of my life before I got married, and I worked my ass off going to school for all those years, I have not lived a life without employment and I give up things that I "want" because I feel guilty spending Casey's money, but I worked, and I work today, just not for the man, instead I work for 3 little men, a big man and a little girl.
I don't think people on the outside of a home looking in see the full picture of what a mother/father does all day if they are the stay at home parent. And frankly it isn't your place to be looking in my windows seeing what I am doing anyway. Judgment and opinions on what I should be doing have no value compared to what I am actually doing on a day to day basis for MY family.
Today, I was on the go non stop and forgot to even put food in my body until 5, and then on other days I may not leave my bedroom, but I can tell you what, I still get laundry folded and put away, the boys still get their chores done, dinner is made, and I can still manage to turn in a 10-15 page homework assignment, all while breaking up non-stop bickering between 4 strong willed and ferociously independent humans. The cliche of a mother sitting around eating Bon-bons, watching her soap operas all day is a bunch of bullshit and anyone one who would like to argue this point is welcome to come stay at my home for a week with all of my kids while I have a mini vaca!
For the next year I plan on spending my time (without having school in my way) working on the improvements on the house that I am capable of doing by myself. I am working on the bathroom right now, next is the boys rooms, and then the kitchen. I am working on designing the layout of my front yard and what I want done with it, and the beautiful garden that go in the back yard, and Kameo can help me with it. We will spend hours and hours playing in the dirt, getting potting soil under our pretty painted fingernails, and during her resting time I will read an actual book that is not a text book. I will set aside one day a week for a play date with a younger kiddo so that Kameo can learn patience (and mom gets her Jennifer time) and I will set another day a week with kiddos her own age where mom can get her social interaction with other stay at home moms. I will try new recipes, and learn how to make bread rise in my house. I will study how to can so that when my garden is ready for harvest I will be able to provide long lasting benefits for my family. I will crochet, and I will fix my sewing machine, I will paint, and I will pull weeds. I want to begin cross stitching obscene throw pillows (watch out, one of these may be your Christmas gifts). I want to figure out what to make for gifts this year and get a head start instead of waiting until the last minute. I want to spend more time with my mom and grandparents, so that means more coast trips and Myrtle Creek trips.
And none of this would be possible if I didn't 1) have the blessing of my husband to stay home, and 2) allowed peoples opinions to interject in my affairs and business.
For all of you stay at home parents, I commend you, and I appreciate you. I understand the struggles that you face and the feelings of feeling like some days you just fall short. But, and this is a big but, YOU are right where you are supposed to be, where YOU are needed and following the destined path the the universe has for YOU and YOUR FAMILY!! Hoo-Rah!!
P.S. I totally respect all of you working moms and dads too...this post is in no way shape or form made to downplay what you bring to your family as well. I love you all, I love all the parents that do what they need to do with their lives and their families to make it!!!
Peace and Blessings,